And now we are done

Sorry looking cupcake!
This is how they looked before the frosting fell off!
My Dad with the little boys
Last night with Cardale
Heading home with Jenn!

Funny story to start with. Caleb had to bring a birthday snack today. We decided to make bumblebee cupcakes. I didn't have time to make my own frosting so I decided to buy a generic can of frosting. That was a big mistake! After I decorated the cupcakes, all of the frosting slid off! So at 10 pm last night I was performing surgery on the cupcakes to salvage them. I put them in the freezer overnight in hopes that they would stay intact til snack time at school.:) I then had another baking failure. I made a cake from a mix and it didn't rise. It looks like an unleavened cake or something. How did I mess up a boxed cake mix?! I didn't have time to make and decorate a new cake, so I ordered one. I feel a little guilty about not making one, but oh well. At least I'm learning to not stress myself out unnecessarily.

Cardale left our house this evening. I thought I would feel more emotions, but I feel kind of matter of fact right now. I know I'll experience more emotions over the next couple of weeks. I still wish I could have explained to Cardale what was happening. We are so happy for him though. I pray this transition goes smoothly for him. We will visit him in a month. So just like that, our time with Cardale is done.

Soccer star

Chasing down the ball
A good action shot- Caleb is number 4
Watching Caleb
The first of many games Isaac will sit thru for his older brother :)
He looks so cute!

Caleb had his first foray into organized sports today. He was nervous when he first got there and during the practice time. But when the game started, Caleb was loving it! There are 5 boys on his team and only 3 play on the field at a time. I laughed so much watching the game. The kids mostly have no idea what they are doing except following a ball, no matter which direction it goes. I also enjoy that at this point Caleb doesn't know whether he is a "good" soccer player or not. He is just having fun playing a game.

We also received some exciting news on Friday. Ryan and Jenn's foster care license is open now! Praising God for answered prayers! That means Cardale can move in with them and start the adoption process. Cardale will move out of our house next weekend. It's hard to believe it will happen. I imagine my emotions will hit sometime after he has moved out. I feel like there is too much going on in the next week to think much about it. Please continue to pray for Cardale as he transitions to their home.

End of summer fun

It is hard to believe that summer is almost over. This summer turned out differently than we thought it would in the spring. We had been so certain that Cardale would move in with Ryan and Jenn by mid June, at the latest. Obviously God has different plans. Cardale has spent the weekends with Ryan and Jenn this summer. We're glad he was able to spend that time with them, but I think everyone is ready to stop driving between Hastings and South Haven every weekend.:) Once again, I was so certain that the Winebrenner's license would open up this week, hasn't happened. We are going out east for a week and Cardale has to go to respite care. We really thought he would be with the Winebrenner's by now and he wouldn't have to go to someone else's home. Guess God has different plans again. Sorry if I seem kind of frustrated. I dislike feeling torn about our vacation. We had made plans to go now b/c Cardale would (most likely) be gone, Nate had the time off, and Caleb starts school after Labor Day. I know we can't bring Cardale with us b/c travelling with the 3 kids and staying in hotels, family member's homes, etc would not be relaxing at all. I just want God to tell us, "here is the date the license will open and when Cardale will move in with Ryan and Jenn." Have I mentioned it is hard to accept God's timetable sometimes?

In other news, we know that Isaac is still allergic to milk. I made mashed potatoes with milk and butter and gave some to him a couple weeks ago. His chin turned red and he started complaining that it itched. He has had a similar reaction to watermelon and cantelope recently. So now we try to eat our watermelon in secret b/c he really likes it! My sister isn't allergic to milk, but gets an itchy mouth after eating watermelon as well. I guess if you have seasonal allergies you sometimes have reactions to certain fruits. Isaac does have some seasonal allergies as well. Poor kiddo. I'm thankful though that his allergies aren't life-threatening. Usually some Benadryl clears up the symptoms right away.

Isaac did his first full-fledged nap strike today. He was in bed for 1 1/2 hours and didn't go to sleep. Even giving him books to read didn't help this time. Of course, he was a wreck the rest of the day. He is too young to do this! Although, I remember Caleb had nap-strike phases and eventually he started napping normally again. Have I mentioned that Isaac's vocabulary has taken off these past few months? People who haven't seem him for awhile are shocked at how much he's talking now. I love this stage of listening to him speak in sentences and describe everything. Of course, now he knows how to talk back too. :)

We are leaving on Saturday for Freeport. I am going to a Tri-County reunion. It is not going to be well-attended, which is frustrating since I've been planning it, but it will be fun to catch up with old friends! Then on Sunday we start driving to Rochester. We'll stay overnight at a hotel and then get to Rochester on Monday. After spending a few days with Nate's parents we're heading to PA to see his brother Reuben and family. Then we head home on the weekend so Caleb can start school on the 8th! We're looking forward to our trip out east as we don't travel that way very much. Should be a fun vacation!

An end and a beginning

Today was the court hearing. The judge decided to terminate both of his parent's rights. It was a very emotional experience this morning. We are so grateful the judge terminated the parental rights. His parents have not shown interest in his life and Cardale deserves a family who loves him unconditionally. It was hard to sit in court and hear all of the history leading up to this decision. I have many mixed emotions today. I know the right decision was made, but I am sad for what Cardale is losing. Someday he'll wonder why his birthparents couldn't be parents. However, I know God has a great future for Cardale. He is going to be surrounded by people who love him. I keep thinking of Jeramiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Now we are waiting for the state to process Ryan and Jenn's foster care license. As soon as that comes back, Cardale can move in with them. We are hoping the license comes in the next couple of weeks. Pray that we all have patience as we wait. Continue to pray for Cardale during this transition. Thanks to all of you who have supported us on this journey with Cardale!

One Year Ago Today

Trying to recreate the picture from last year. Caleb didn't want to and these two kept wiggling!
Brothers for one year now
One year ago-One uncertain Mom
Cardale's 1st day with us

One year ago today a little boy moved in with us, and he has impacted so many lives. I remember driving to Bethany and picking him up. I was handed a bag of his clothes, some baby formula and a piece of paper with very few instructions about his schedule. We were all nervous. When Cardale moved in with us he was 6 months old. He didn't eat baby food, had some low muscle tone, didn't make eye contact well, and would curl himself into a fetal position often. He was such a sweetheart though and really, he adapted to our home quite quickly.

Cardale has achieved so many milestones in this past year. On Friday we had his last swallowing appointment, yea! When we started therapy for his eating issues, I was quite discouraged. He was 11 months old and wouldn't eat any solid foods. I thought he would be eating baby food forever.:) Now though he eats like a champ! There are some textures he won't eat and he still won't try Cheerios, but I think we tried too many of those when he was younger.:) Cardale turned 18 months old on Saturday. He is a happy little boy. His vocabulary is growing, he is a people person, and he has some impressive large motor skills. He can jump, run quickly, and loves to dance. Tomorrow he has his 18 month checkup.

So many people, beyond our family, have been impacted by Cardale. People in our church and community have grown attached to Cardale and want to see how God works in his life. One year ago I never would have guessed that Cardale would still be living with us. The direction I thought Cardale's life was going, has completely changed. But, I know that God has great plans for Cardale. It is exciting for us to watch Cardale's relationship develop with Ryan and Jenn. God has good plans in store!

Recent stories

Let me start by apologizing for no pictures in this post. Maybe I'll take some this weekend.:) Two weekends ago we celebrated my sister's graduation from Calvin. It's a little weird to think my little sister is all grown up. We have become much closer over the years and I really enjoy the time we spend together. She was just at our house for a couple days to help me out, I so appreciate that! Steph is studying to take her nursing boards next month and looking for a job. All grown up.:)

Nate is in the homestretch at work! He is taking simulator tests this week and his final written test on Monday. He is feeling confident about the test on Monday. After the big test we're leaving on Tuesday for my grandparent's cottage in WI. Hopefully we can all enjoy some relaxation.

Cardale is still visiting Ryan and Jenn on the weekends. He really enjoys the time he spends with them. We found out today that the termination hearing will not be on the 11th and has to be rescheduled. We don't know yet when the new hearing will be. I have to admit this is very frustrating. We're confident this termination will go thru, but I'll still be uneasy until it actually happens. So keep praying for everyone involved!

Here is a story I find funny. I had to meet with Cardale's court appointed lawyer. She has to share with the judge what she thinks is in Cardale's best interest. (She believes termination is in his best interest.) We were talking about Cardale and my other kids and their ages. She was surprised that Cardale is only 4 months younger than Isaac. Then she stops suddenly and says, "Wait, you stay home with them?" I said, "Yes, I stay home with the kids." Her response was something along the lines of "Wow." I could tell she assumed my kids were in daycare and when she realized they weren't she was impressed. Or she thought I was certifiably crazy.:) So I felt pretty good about my job as a Mom after that meeting!

Summer is coming!

I want to start by saying, I love this warm weather! It is so great to take the kids outside everyday. This past winter was quite difficult for me and being able to take the kids outside has made a big difference!

Caleb is in his last week of preschool. Where did the year go? He has his preschool graduation tomorrow night. That just makes me laugh. I'm nervous about what we're going to do this summer with him. I'm sure we'll figure out a new routine though. I think we've figured out what Caleb is doing next year for school. We're planning on sending him to Grace Christian School for the Young 5's program. It's an all day program. Grace is about 25 minutes south of us, but thankfully we've found someone to carpool with! We had the kindergarten teacher at Grace test him and she recommended he do the Young 5's program. The kindergarten program is a little crazy at Grace. They want the kids to be at least 5 1/2 by September and basically the learning material is 1st grade level. So, if we had left Caleb at his current school he would have been in kindergarten next year, but we know that eventually we want Caleb at Grace. So, we just have to swallow our pride and not send him to kindergarten next year.:)

Life has also been changing for Cardale. Ryan and Jenn (she has the Still Cross Photography blog) are in the process of getting their foster care license. We're trying to have Cardale visit with them every weekend. Cardale can not spend the night at their house yet, but hopefully that will be allowed in the next couple of weeks. They may have their license by the end of June/early July and then Cardale can move in with them! The hearing to terminate his parent's rights is scheduled for June 11. Keep praying that termination goes through without any problems. It still makes me sad that we're praying for Cardale to be permanently separated from his Mom, but I truly believe that is in his best interest. Moving between two families is getting a little stressful for Cardale. His struggles are completely normal though and thankfully he won't remember any of this when he's older. Please keep all of us in your prayers as we transition Cardale to his new family!

Surgery Update

The surgery went well this morning. I was surprised at how quick the procedure really is! We had to be at the hospital at 6:30 am and we left the hospital by 8:30. Cardale was very angry after he woke up, which I guess is normal. He was irritable this morning and clingy. His ears were popping alot which caused him some pain. He is taking a long nap right now, so hopefully he feels better when he wakes up. He has a cold right now and the Dr. said his left ear was getting infected. Got the tubes just in time! My parents came out to help watch the kids and Jenn came with me to the hospital. I'm appreciating the help as I'm not feeling great today, kids and their germs.:) So we're hoping the tubes don't fall out and Cardale is ear infection free for awhile!

Surgery

Please pray for Cardale tomorrow morning. His tubes surgery is scheduled for 7:30 am. He started with a runny nose, cough, and low fever this afternoon. Please pray that they will still do the surgery even though he has a little cold. We'll let you know how tomorrow turns out.

Darkness and Light

For Jenn- Cardale looking handsome in his Sunday clothes

Can you tell we had two different cameras going?:)

Uncle Tim and the boys

Our little family

We had a great Easter celebration! We went to my parent's house for the weekend along with my brother and sister. The boys enjoyed all of the attention and we enjoyed it too!;) The boys looked very cute in their Easter clothes. Caleb was not happy about wearing a tie, so he only had to wear it for the pictures. He really dislikes wearing "Sunday clothes." As soon as we walk in the door after church, he rushes upstairs to change.

I titled this post "Darkness and Light" because I've been thinking alot about how our lives are comprised of dark and light moments that often occur simultaneously. I have spent the past couple of days in constant prayer for my childhood friend, Natalie. They found out on Monday that their 3 1/2 year old daughter, Alaina, has cancer. They are living out every parent's nightmare. Since then it has been a whirlwind of doctors and tests. They found out today that she has A.L.L. leukemia. The fact that she has leukemia is horrible, but the good news is that it is the best type of leukemia a child can get-very treatable. Thank God for small miracles! They have a long road ahead of them and Alaina is very scared right now, but we know God can get them through it.

When I hear devastating news like this I sometimes think, why is life still moving forward? It seems like the whole world should stop because of this huge event going on in my friend's life. Thankfully, that is not how life goes. We need the routines of life to help us stay sane and hopeful. In my darker thought moments (usually when I'm laying in bed and can't sleep) I think about all the pain that surrounds us. A friend's father is dying of cancer, another friend was widowed this year, another friend's baby was born with a rare birth defect, a friend's baby granddaughter had cancer, Cardale's parents don't want him, etc. However, at the same time I remember all of the joy that surrounds us. A friend who beat cancer is pregnant with her second child, my family is healthy, and there are people who love Cardale and want to adopt him-to name a few! God is good in that He always provides reminders that He is in control and gives us good things, even in the midst of pain.

In regards to Cardale, we had a court session today. His Mom did not show up and has not seen him since early December. The judge ordered that she is not allowed to visit him anymore and there will be a termination of parental rights hearing scheduled. That court hearing could happen by the end of May. Once that hearing happens, Cardale will be officially up for adoption. It was sad for me today to see that his Mom didn't show up and doesn't seem to care. However, the good news is that some friends of ours want to adopt him! So please be praying for Cardale, the judge, and our friends. We know that God has a good plans for Cardale.

Kudos to Colleen!

We have been without curtains in our family room, for an embarassingly long time. It was a combination of not having any stores in South Haven and decorating stresses me out a little. So my sister in law, Colleen, offered to sew some curtains for me. I told her to work off the picture in between the windows, and here is what she made! I like how the curtains are a unique length and the pillows are great. I still need to add some colorful blankets and our walls are pretty bare, but it's progress!

Cardale saw the ENT Dr. today and he does need tubes. He's scheduled for the end of the month, but I'm hoping we can push that up. It really depends on how quickly the judge gets the permission signed. I would like to get the surgery done sooner because I'm afraid he'll get another ear infection before the end of April! We'll see what happens.

White flag of surrender

Ok, I give up! These ear infections are getting the best of us. I took Isaac and Cardale back to the Dr. today to see if the antibiotics worked. Cardale's ear infection was mostly cleared up, but he has alot of fluid still in one of his ears. So, the Dr. prescribed another round of the same antibiotic in hopes it will completely rid his ears of fluid. After this round, he may need to see an audiologist just to make sure his hearing isn't being affected by all of these ear infections. The Dr. wants to hold off on tubes in the ears a little bit longer.

Then there is Isaac. One of his ears is cleared up, the other one is still horrible and infected. So, he is on another round of a different antibiotic. On top of it all, he has a yeast infection in his groin area and needs prescription cream to clear it up. (Antibiotics can sometimes give babies yeast infections.) So, Isaac is scheduled to see the Dr. next Wednesday for his 18 month check-up and hopefully we'll be able to tell if the antibiotics are working. It's kind of funny that he has to go back for a well-child visit, we've been there so often lately!

And can I just complain about how challenging it is to keep two 1 year olds happy in a doctor's office?! We got into the room fairly quickly. The kids were undressed down to their socks and diaper and then we sat and waited for an hour! I brought my 10 lb diaper bag with different toys to keep them occupied, but that only worked for so long. In the past I would have grimaced at parents who would let their kids crawl around on the floor in Doctor's offices, not anymore! I figure it is a big accomplishment if I can keep them out of the garbage can and biohazard wastebasket. Thankfully there is antibacterial gel on the wall in the Doctor's office, so that was used liberally.:)

Needed: Your stuff!

I am putting out a call here to everyone I know for some help! We are hoping to do a huge garage sale this summer to raise money to bring baby DeMaster home!! I think everyone knows that international adoption is quite pricey. We need to come up with about $16,000 this year. I struggle sometimes with sharing that figure just because people feel funny talking about money. But, I want people to get the real picture of adoption- sometimes it isn't cheap. However, we serve a BIG God who can easily provide these funds. We just need to do some work too.:)

So, we are asking you to save your stuff and donate to our garage sale. Kids items/clothes are usually in high demand, but we'll take other stuff too! Also, if any of you have experience doing a garage sale- I need some advice! I've never done a garage sale so it seems intimidating. If any of you have other fundraising ideas we could try, let me know.

On a side note, I have to share what happened with Cardale yesterday. I made grilled cheese for lunch and decided to cut some up into little tiny pieces and offer him some. He ate it! I was so happy! I sometimes think he isn't progressing at all in his eating and then he has little breakthroughs. I'm trying to remember that slow and steady progress is still progress.:)

Busy Weekend

Ralph Rottingrape and Tiny Bubbles

Mmm, spaghetti
What a big helper!

On Friday night we hosted a Murder Mystery Dinner Party. We invited the women from the MOPS steering team and their spouses. We had never done a party like this before. I think it went well and everyone had a fun time. We all had characters with names related to wine/alcohol. Nate was Ralph Rottingrape and I was Tiny Bubbles. Neither one of us ended up being the murder suspect.

My sister is visiting us for the weekend. So Nate and I were able to go out to eat tonight, a nice treat! Caleb enjoys helping us clean the house on Saturdays. We should enjoy this stage while it lasts.:) He has always been nervous of the vacuum and he was quite proud of himself for doing it. I think we're finally getting over the latest round of sickness. I am very tired of being housebound! Cardale and Isaac are both on antibiotics for ear infections and they had some kind of virus on top of it. If Cardale's ear infection doesn't clear up he may have to get tubes in his ears. Hopefully that doesn't happen.

It's Off

I wanted to update you all on Isaac's cast. His cast was taken off on Friday! They took some x-rays and everything is healing nicely. It was such a relief, I couldn't stop smiling. He can now take baths and play outside in the sand and water with no worries! I had to laugh at the Doctor's comment. Isaac wore through the bottom of the cast on his heel. The Dr. said he has never seen a young child wear through a cast, usually it's older kids. What can I say, the boy does not sit still!:)

The babies are starting some Mommy clinginess. They will both sit at my feet and cry to see who I pick up. If I happen to pick up one of them during the day, the other comes over and cries at me. This is not a fun stage and I'm hoping it ends quickly!

We also had some good news for Cardale. The social worker said everything looks good for him to go back with his Mom, they're just waiting for paperwork, etc to go through Indiana. It's frustrating b/c IN is not moving quickly, which doesn't help Cardale at all. The transition is going to be hard enough for him, why make the separation even longer? Please pray that paperwork gets done quickly, that his Mom continues to do well, and that the transition goes smoothly for him and our family. We do not have a timeframe yet of when he might leave.

On a fun note, Nate and I went out for a date on Saturday night. It is always nice to have dinner away from the kids and have a conversation without interruptions.:)

Operation Table Food

You want me to do what with this?
So far so good...
Success! No puking!

Cardale has a terrible time with table food. Anytime a Cheerios or tiny bit of food touches his tongue, he gags and throws up. He's 9 months old now and we decided to try teething biscuits. He did pretty well with this first one. Everytime a tiny chunk came off in his mouth he pulled a horrible face. But, he didn't throw up and he kept putting it back in his mouth. Progress!

He has his 9 month checkup at the beginning of October. I'm curious to see how much he's grown. He has gained about 4 new teeth in the last month or so. Teething is so hard for him. His gums get all swollen and bruised and sometimes bloody. Poor guy. Isaac is also getting his molars, so lots of fun in our house!

Cardale loves being mobile! He enjoys being able to crawl to wherever the action is. He is also showing his temper more. He has the angriest sounding scream when he wants his bottle, now! He also mimics sounds really well. He says da-da, claps his hands, waves goodbye and I think he does the "all done" baby sign.

Cardale has been with us 3 months now and I feel like we have finally established our new groove as a family.

First Day on My Own

I thought I would post what my day was like. Writing down what I did today helps me get some perspective as well. Sorry if you don't find it interesting!

So Cardale was up at 1 am last night and Nate and I took turns comforting him til he fell asleep at 2:30. He then slept til 6:15 am! We were excited because we're trying to get him thru the night with no feedings.
6:30-fed Cardale bottle
7:00-gave Cardale to Nate and nursed Isaac
7:30-Nate went to work, got Caleb up
7:30-8:45-fed Cardale cereal, switched Isaac to highchair (we need another highchair soon!), fed Isaac food, got Caleb breakfast, (listened to Caleb constantly say, "Mommy your bowl is empty, you need to eat), inhale a bowl of cereal
8:45-9:15- got kids dressed, babies in bed for nap
9:15-10:15- relative peace! Got myself dressed, started laundry, cleaned up breakfast, Caleb washed all of the baby toys in the sink-he thought it was great!
10:15-Babies wake up, Cardale cries every time I put him down
10:45-fed Cardale bottle, nursed Isaac while Cardale screamed
11:30-gave Cardale cereal, got lunch ready
12:00-fed Isaac, lunch for Caleb and myself while holding Cardale on my lap
1:00- got kids in bed for naps
1:30-just laid down for nap and social worker called, grr!
2:00-off the phone and Isaac wakes up early from nap, got him settled down again
2:30-Cardale wakes up, and I let Caleb get up from his "nap"
3:00-fed Cardale bottle (thankfully Isaac was still asleep!)
3:30-nursed Isaac (while Cardale cries), my Mom calls and asks if she can come tomorrow to help out- of course!
3:45-Nate comes home from work early!! My husband is the greatest!
4:00-8:00-tag team with Nate until boys are in bed

Looking back over this post, I apologize for the schedule-it's not that interesting. It did help me realize that God is faithful and He got me thru the day, I prayed for that all day. There was only one time when I felt overwhelmed and wanted to cry. Caleb was so great today! He didn't have any tantrums and he tries really hard to make Cardale happy. The hardest part is Cardale's clinginess. I know we need to be patient and that he is overwhelmed with changes right now. I feel so bad when he's screaming and I can't pick him up because I'm nursing Isaac or something.

I have a question for you all. How many ounces of formula should a 6 month old be eating? We are giving Cardale 6 ounces, four times a day. Is that enough? Also, is it normal for babies who drink formula to spit up alot? He spits up after every feeding and when we put him down to sleep. It doesn't help that he likes to sleep on his stomach.