Waterpark

Isaac wanted a picture of himself under water
Not sure what this pose is :)
Having fun in the water
The boys really enjoyed the slide
Hey handsome
Julia wandered under a bucket full of water that dumped on her. Don't worry she was ok. :)

Caleb didn't have school last week Monday and Tuesday so we took a little winter break vacation. We stayed at a Holiday Inn Express near Grand Rapids that has a waterpark. The kids weren't tall enough for the big waterslide, but they enjoyed the kid area. Julia was just old enough to enjoy the waterpark. She couldn't climb up the playset because the water pummeled her. The air temperature in the waterpark area was chilly so that was a slight drawback. We kept the kids up fairly late, but apparently not late enough for Julia. She was talking/being silly WAY too late. After some stern interactions with Nate she finally fell asleep. :)

Julia's vocabulary is always expanding and now she says, "Julia ungry, Mama." She also constantly asks, "doing? Mama doing?" She is our non-stop commentator and does not like it when no one is talking in the car. She is more than happy to fill in the silence. I sometimes look forward to teaching her the quiet game. :)

Caleb is doing so well in school. I am really impressed with his penmanship and of course love hearing him read. His two front teeth are loose and will probably fall out soon. He insists on wiggling/pulling them himself. Today he asked me to wiggle his tooth, but not pull it out. It took alot of willpower to not show how creeped out I was wiggling his tooth. I just don't like loose teeth, gross. When I was a kid I had my Dad pull out my teeth.

Isaac is maturing before our eyes. I usually think of him as a toddler, but that is not true. He is more observant of the world around him and is asking questions. He enjoys playing with his friends, Cardale and Lucas, when possible. He is also very proud that he can go to Kids Church now. He has informed us he is too big for nursery. He is becoming more independent and doesn't like it when I try to help him with tasks. Of course as soon as I tell him he doesn't need help with a task he insists that he does. :)

Some exciting news is that my brother, Tim, is engaged! He and Jenny are planning on getting married this fall. The kids and myself will be in the wedding party. I am looking forward to seeing the kids dressed up and looking cute. :)

I am still involved with orphan ministry activities. I am very excited because our church started an adoption fund! Families wanting to adopt can apply for an interest free loan or matching grant. Adoption can be expensive and it is exciting that God can use our church to bring families together. I have alot of dreams/desires for orphan ministry, but I also have to balance my family life. Please be in prayer for myself and our family as we seek God's guidance!

Get A Glimpse of Summit Keynote Speakers

I just have to share the link below. I attended Summit last year and it was an amazing experience. The conference is focused on orphans and the Christian response. The speakers were inspiring and the breakout sessions were very informative. Summit is great for adoptive/foster parents, professionals, and anyone with a heart for orphans. I don't think I can attend this year, which is very disappointing. I'm trying to not think about it! Anyway, I highly encourage you to attend. :)




Get A Glimpse of Summit Keynote Speakers

February Fun

Love my little girl!
Looking pretty in her hanbok
The best group shot we could get and I think we are still missing a few kids :)

Ready for the Super Bowl!
Notice all the men in the room with no children..
And all of the kids (and Moms) in the other room, interesting...
The Packers don't need cheerleaders, they have this cutie!
Cheeseheads in the making
Caleb and I went bowling. This is his celebration move.
This is his bowling technique. He bowled better than me and we had bumpers...


First of all, thank you to everyone who responded to my last posting. Your insights are appreciated!

The weather outside has been frightful, but we're still having fun. The boys have behavior rewards chart and Caleb received a bowling trip. Caleb and I went together and had alot of fun. And yes, we used bumpers and my son still had a better score than me!

And of course, we celebrated the Super Bowl! We had some friends over to watch the game. It was a little chaotic with all of the children running around, but still fun. The downside was all of our company left at halftime b/c children had to go to bed. However, Nate was happy enough to watch the rest of the game in peace. :) We taped the rest of the game so Caleb could watch it the next day, true Packers fan.

You might remember that my Mom has been struggling with her pancreas again. She had another stent put in a couple weeks ago. She will have the stent removed on the 18th. She will probably be sick again after the 18th, but hopefully after her body heals the pancreas issue will be solved. Anyway, my Mom can't work until March, so she stayed with us for a couple days! We all enjoyed having her around. Caleb was a little sad that he had to go to school when everyone else was home with Grandma. However, he still had alot of quality time with her. My Mom appreciates your continued prayers!

Nate is busy building again. He made a train table for the kids and it looks great! He is also building bookshelves for the basement that will surround the window, should be very cool. Caleb and Nate went to the high school homecoming game. Caleb enjoyed cheering and watching the game. He laughed when we told him he could be on that court someday. :) Isaac had the opportunity to see Cardale this weekend. Isaac will talk about Cardale often and I am so happy they still see each other. Isaac is singing more these days. He often sings, "Angels Watching Over Me," that Grandma D taught him when he was in Florida. :)

Julia and I went to a Lunar New Year party with other Korean adoptive families. We had some yummy Korean food and caught up with old and new friends. Julia had fun running around with the kids and wearing her "pretty dress." I always appreciate these get-togethers and wish they happened more often!

When to ask for help?

The pictures speak for themselves. Just genuine cuteness!

I know there are some other adoptive families that read my blog and I'll be curious to hear their take on this posting. Others can feel free to chime in too!

Nate and I have been asking ourselves questions about some of Julia's behaviors. It is so hard to know if her negative behaviors are a result of her age (almost 2), her gender, personality, adoption related or a mix of all of the above. There is a lot of adoption literature that explains how adopted kids will always struggle with feelings of anger/grief. Not all the time and not necessarily severe, just something adoptive parents need to have on their radar. That is great to know, but I am constantly questioning when is something adoption related and when is just your garden variety misbehaving child? :) And, the million dollar question in the adoption community, how is the child attaching to us? Does her behavior show that we need to work harder on attachment?

I should probably explain some of the behaviors she is having to give some perspective. We taught her to say, "stop," for when the boys are bugging her. However, she has morphed it into a very imperious sounding, "Stop It!," which she uses with Nate and I all the time. We are reminding her to say, "stop, please," so she can get her point across in a polite manner. The part that concerns me is that when Nate or I try to hug/tickle/hold her she pushes away and says, "stop it or (maybe) stop please." I am torn in these situations. I want to acknowledge that she asked in a nice way, but it also isn't good that she only takes affection on her terms, right? If she asks to be held it is ok, but not if we initiate. She doesn't reject our initiated affection all the time, just enough to make me worry. Again, is this just a normal age/personality issue or something we need to address? She also goes through really angry phases and where she does the exact opposite of what I ask. Actually, the doing the exact opposite thing is almost all the time. :) I was asking my Mom, "Is this what a mother/daughter relationship is like until they grow up?!" :) Ugh, I can drive myself crazy analyzing all of this stuff.

I did talk to our adoption worker and she suggested re-reading the Connected Child. She also said I may just need to remember Julia's age. Which is true, because she is so verbal and the third (fourth) child we tend to expect more I think. Our adoption worker also suggested meeting with an adoption therapist who could give us some perspective and new parenting tips. I seriously considered meeting with a therapist until I learned the cost. It would be $150 for the initial assessment and then $1oo for each 1 hour session. And, they can't tell you up front how many sessions you'll need. Ouch! So, for now, we'll do some reading and talk with other parents. I am also trying to just ignore the negative behaviors and not give her a reaction. I think that is what she is really trying for, some kind of reaction from me. Honestly though it takes serious prayer to not give a reaction all day. We are also doing time-outs on our lap. Any other suggestions? If things really do not improve or we're super stressed, we will talk to a therapist. I'm not against seeing a therapist, just want to make sure we really need it. ;)

I do want you to know that Julia brings so much joy to our family and we wouldn't change a thing! She is so smart and very verbal. She greets everyone with an enthusiastic, "Hi (insert name)!" I love getting her up from sleeping, she is so cheerful. I can not say my other children have been like that! Julia also enjoys helping. We have the boys take turns clearing the supper table and Julia insists on helping too. She is a social little girl and doesn't mind sharing her cuteness. I love the little happy dance/run she does and her smile is infectious. We love our precious Julia!